tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
