I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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