we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
