The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
