Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
MIDGETS
????
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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