I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
