what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
