yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
