The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I understand Curling. That high.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
