hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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