Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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