Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
