Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
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