it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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