Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
