i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
