We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
