I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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