this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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