turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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