Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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