Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
