BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
