sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
