Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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