She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
