I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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