I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
