You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
