Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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