Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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