he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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