My brain says no but my pants say off.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
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