HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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