If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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