Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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