I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
MIDGETS
????
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
