We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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