Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
There are leaves in my underwear?
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