how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
