apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
he fucked my hip out of place.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
