He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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