Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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