i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
