He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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