No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
