his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
