Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
worst night to have a conscience
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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