That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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