I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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