the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
